Dove Milk Chocolate miniatures will be the sole reason I gain the freshman 3,977. That is all.

I am currently taking an honors course entitled 'The Atom and the American Experience' which analyzes the effects of atomic energy on American life, politics, and science. What is cool about the course is that it is an OU President's Dream course, meaning my professors (who have PhD's from Columbia...you know) received about $25,000 extra to enhance the class. With this money, my professors are bringing in throughout the semester guest speakers who are experts in their fields.

We read about 100 pages a night of different papers, books, and biographies. Currently, we are reading Arsenals of Folly by Richard Rhodes. Richard Rhodes is probably the foremost expert on all things atomic energy, as probably agreed by the entire scientific historical community. He has written 23 books, with his latest The Twilight of the Bomb just released last month. Next week, we have the pleasure of being lectured by this Pulitzer prize winner in the intimate setting of about 30 students (followed by a formal, public lecture that night). I never thought that I would be so excited about something so strange! But I think it's a wonderful opportunity, especially as a freshman, to hear such an influential figure speak. If you ever get the chance and are interested in the history of atomic energy/nuclear weapons/the Cold War, or anything else pertaining to this, please read Arsenals of Folly. It is really very interesting. The first two chapters deal with the Chernobyl disaster and the history of Gorbachev, from the time he was born until he took command of the Soviet Union.

GoIng off on a tangent, this class made me very interested in careers in atomic energy. Obviously, my goal is to get into medical school. But if I do not get in, or decide it is not for me, I have started researching Health Physicists, specifically a Nuclear Health Physicist. Go HERE to read about, via the CDC. I won't bore you with the details, but it really just channels my inner-nerd reading about this stuff. Isn't it cool?

The Honors Program at OU makes me really happy I ended up here, despite some of my recent feelings. I am taught by some of the most intelligent, knowledgable people I have ever met, graduates from Princeton, Brown, Columbia, the works. I only hope I get to submerge myself in all the classes these people teach.

Cardigans and moleskins, headbands and autumn.
Chacos and v-necks, and wint-o-green lifesavers.
Flannel, gerbera daisies, letters in the mail...

These are a few of my favorite things!

I could probably not hate anything more than I hate my French class.

First. Why, as a microbiology major, is it a requirement to take 3 semesters of language? Yes, I understand the whole liberal arts track and everything, but it's not like I will understand/retain any of this after these three semesters, ESPECIALLY with this kind of teaching.

Second. Why must everything be done on a computer. Little computerized voices that say phrases 90 to nothing DO NOT help me learn. In fact, I can't complete those assignments because I don't have the slightest clue at a single WORD they say.

THREE. If it's a beginning, French I course, I don't think students should be expected to comprehend as much French as they think we should. Walking into class the first day not hearing a single word of English was a little discontenting, especially for someone who has never been in a French class in their life.

To sum things up, I HATE FRENCH. The sad thing is, I was really looking forward to this class, really looking forward to hopefully studying abroad in conjunction with my French class. As of right now, I still want to do it, but only to see France, not to further develop my VERY lacking communication skills.

BAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

How I feel at this moment:

A long time coming..... my dorm room!

It changes about every day, but on this Sunday afternoon, this is what it looks like. Paint me a picture or make me something small to hang on my wall by my cross, it's lonely! :)

My bed.
Desk, complete with Moleskine, notepads, artist man, TOMS flag, my favorite books, and my G2's.

Side view, with my newest painting. Working on the picture arrangement.

Outside the door- view of our rug as well :)


I hope you like it!!

"I don't recall a single care, just greenery and humid air. Then Labor Day came and went and we shed what was left of our summer skin."

This weekend I was very fortunate to go down to A&M to visit Hayden, Katie, Matt, and even my friend Bryan from Baylor. After seeing Hayden once a week for 3 hours for the past two months, this was some much needed time to spend with him. And it was great. Not many people will go to Target with me just to go to Target AND enjoy it as much as I do, go (at least try) to look at basset hound puppies, walk around parks looking for ducks, make bracelets, piggy back rides, or just be straight goofy with. But that's Hayden. And it was so fun. I enjoyed hanging out with all of my friends as well- Mario Kart on N64, ski trip planning, as well as meeting a lot of the PC Ranchers. What a great way to spend labor day.

RIght now I feel like I am kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am really struggling to "love" where I am at right now. It seems like most people at OU are all already friends. I am a very quiet person, so this makes it especially hard for me to meet new people. And so far this hasn't been the true experience I have been hoping for. I know "it takes time" to get used to things, but I am the way I am for a reason. It's especially hard because of the very prominent social scene at OU. Of course, not everyone does, but it seems like the majority of people are involved in this not-so-wholesome environment. And I just don't care for that. I am thankful for the group I have met, like Megan, that are in the same boat I am. But it's hard. Sometimes I wonder if this is the place I was supposed to end up. Having challenges with sororities, classes, and friendships this early just makes me question. I have come to the fact that I am a people pleaser, and a very impressionable person in certain aspects. I feel like I chose to go places and not go places because of what people would think. And that is not right. I ignored feelings I had for schools because of people there, like my close friends and even my boyfriend. I didn't want to be a follower, and didn't want people to think I was. But sometimes, submersion into a new place can be made much easier with the support of people behind you. I wish I would have considered that.

I don't really think I can explain my feelings right now, but it's just hard. I feel like this is probs a really dramatic post, but it's how I am feeling, and have been for a while, so I am going to write it down. Isn't that what a blog is for?