"I don't recall a single care, just greenery and humid air. Then Labor Day came and went and we shed what was left of our summer skin."

This weekend I was very fortunate to go down to A&M to visit Hayden, Katie, Matt, and even my friend Bryan from Baylor. After seeing Hayden once a week for 3 hours for the past two months, this was some much needed time to spend with him. And it was great. Not many people will go to Target with me just to go to Target AND enjoy it as much as I do, go (at least try) to look at basset hound puppies, walk around parks looking for ducks, make bracelets, piggy back rides, or just be straight goofy with. But that's Hayden. And it was so fun. I enjoyed hanging out with all of my friends as well- Mario Kart on N64, ski trip planning, as well as meeting a lot of the PC Ranchers. What a great way to spend labor day.

RIght now I feel like I am kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am really struggling to "love" where I am at right now. It seems like most people at OU are all already friends. I am a very quiet person, so this makes it especially hard for me to meet new people. And so far this hasn't been the true experience I have been hoping for. I know "it takes time" to get used to things, but I am the way I am for a reason. It's especially hard because of the very prominent social scene at OU. Of course, not everyone does, but it seems like the majority of people are involved in this not-so-wholesome environment. And I just don't care for that. I am thankful for the group I have met, like Megan, that are in the same boat I am. But it's hard. Sometimes I wonder if this is the place I was supposed to end up. Having challenges with sororities, classes, and friendships this early just makes me question. I have come to the fact that I am a people pleaser, and a very impressionable person in certain aspects. I feel like I chose to go places and not go places because of what people would think. And that is not right. I ignored feelings I had for schools because of people there, like my close friends and even my boyfriend. I didn't want to be a follower, and didn't want people to think I was. But sometimes, submersion into a new place can be made much easier with the support of people behind you. I wish I would have considered that.

I don't really think I can explain my feelings right now, but it's just hard. I feel like this is probs a really dramatic post, but it's how I am feeling, and have been for a while, so I am going to write it down. Isn't that what a blog is for?