My cat Mildred (Millie) has never been the lap cat I have always wanted her to be. Until this weekend. Anytime I sit down she runs and curls up in my lap. She has found her voice and squeaks and purrs constantly! Every night she has come in my room and curled up right beside me. In the past, if she would even sleep with me, it was down at my feet. Earlier today I came into my room and Milz was sitting on my bed, I laid down, and she came and burrowed under the covers (literally). I had to get up, and left her with just her head poking out from under the covers. I came back a while later and didn't see her. I start lifting up my blanket and find her curled in a ball at the foot of my bed. Mildred likes to camp out in the dark, apparently. Anyway, she's adorable and I felt the need to devote a post to this glorious animal that is laying next to me as I type. Let's hope she stays nice and sweet once Emily's hellions get her on Wednesday. I will post a picture of Millie's cat cave when I load the pictures.

My dad's a funny guy. For the past week, every day I talk to either him or my mom on the phone I remind him to bring a suitcase because I don't have one here.

Well, it's 9:00AM, and my dad and I are headed to Target..... buying a plastic storage container..... because he forgot a suitcase. :)

It's kind of just now hitting me that I am going home [IN APPROXIMATELY 60 HOURS]. I am really very excited about this because a) I love all things Christmas: my mom's decorations, the desserts, candlelight services, I'll say it.... presents, and just the whole atmosphere of the season! AND b) this is the first break/weekend/MONTH that I will not be worrying about projects, papers, reading, ANYTHING. All the caps are expressing the complete AWESOMENESS of this. I feel like the two times I have been home this semester have been whirlwind weekends where I feel like I barely got to enjoy my time home. But this break, I get an entire month (plus a few days) home with my family and friends. I cannot wait to sit by the fire with my Goose and Mildred and Penny and drink hot chocolate and watch Family Vacation for probably the 17th time. These thoughts are getting me through finals week... or more distracting me from my studies!

Wish me luck and say a little prayer for me on Monday and Tuesday.... especially Tuesday at 7:30 when my French final begins!

Snowflakes and studying!

Look what I found today.

Aren't these succulent christmas trees amazing? Add that to my Christmas list!


[found here]

So, I know my last few posts have been "doubters". But when I have something on my mind, it makes me feel better to write it on here and in my journal. Hopefully this one isn't so depressing. But hey. No promises. Whenever I am having a bad day, or even just need a pep-upper, I listen to Hillsong. My college church, Journey, holds a college worship service every Tuesday night called Lifestream and the band could for real be Hillsong. They are so talented, and having such GREAT worship really impacts me.

This is one of my favorite songs, You'll Come. It really pulls me through when times might not be the best. Actually, listening to this song makes me cry, but in a good/release kind of way. Listen to it, for real!



"As surely as the sun will rise, You'll come to us. As surely as the dawn appears to us. You'll come. Let your glory fall as you respond to us. Spirit rain. Flood into our thirsty hearts again!"

Day after day God is there with us. Not even the promise of a morning is as great as God's. God wants us, wholeheartedly. He desires our hearts more than anything, despite our immense flaws. But we don't reciprocate. We might follow after His heart, but only sometimes. Only when we need reassurance. God wants us fully, but we barely want him. Despite our own half-heartedness, God still loves us more than we can EVER imagine.

I'm reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, a book I started in the summer but never got a chance to finish. Chan says it perfectly that "the irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but act like we don't really want him most of the time." What a CRAZY love. Someone is so devoted to us, but we aren't even close. What a love.

How great is OUR God, who loves us more than we could ever imagine, than we could deserve! His grace overpowers our burdens. One of Hayden's favorite verses, Matthew 11:30 states just this: That God's yoke is easy and His burden is light! Christ's yoke is easy because it's sustained in LOVE. For us! His burden will always be light for us, because with our trust in Him, he takes the weight we deserve to carry! Our flaws can no longer weigh us down! I'm sure there are much better readings of this, but that thought just overwhelms me! How great is our God!

I apologize for my scatterbrained-ness. Sometimes I just have so much to say! I may not be eloquent in articulating what I am wanting to say, but really these are reminders for myself!

Nuclear papers: finished.
Let paper snowflake creating commence.

Have you ever thought about the Peace Corp? In elementary school I was in this gifted and talented program called T.A.R.G.E.T. My 5th grade year we studied all about a young man who was serving in Malawi with the Peace Corp. Fifth grade was kind of an interesting time to go in depth (and I mean depth.... who know about the economic industries of Malawi?) about the Peace Corp, but I always thought it was interesting. Recently (as in since I have been in college) I have given it more thought. I read up on it, and found out the term of a Peace Corp volunteer was 23 months. TWENTY THREE MONTHS. That seems like a crazy long time. But imagine the difference these students make? How much they can get done? I think it would be very hard for me to be gone from my family and friends this long, so chances of me ever doing something like that would be slim. But it got me thinking. What would I do if I could do anything in the world? Where would I go, what would my mission be? I think if I was more comfortable with being away for prolonged periods, the Peace Corp would be it.

EIGHT DAYS.

CAN'T COME FAST ENOUGH.

I can't wait to see how my mom has decorated our house, and to see our beautiful Christmas tree. This picture was taken Christmas Eve 2009.

A Thanksgiving to be thankful for:

My mom and sister, and my favorite people in the world!

My beautiful mom and me in our Thanksgiving outfits.

Gus is probably the naughtiest, worst behaved dog in the world. But I love him so much. He really does brighten my day! If I call my mom and she puts it on speakerphone with Gus is in the room, he will talk to me through the phone!

Being goofy in front of the Dr. Pepper museum!

One of my favorite pictures from the weekend. Emily and I know how to make my dad laugh, and we do it a lot. This picture kind of captures our relationship with him.

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule.
You're blessed when you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
You're blessed when you're content with just who you are- no more, no less. That's when you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's good and drink in the best meal you will ever eat.
You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full' you find yourselves cared for.
You're blessed when you get your inside world- your mind and heart- put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
Matthew 5:1-8

I need Your embrace, I need your nourishment. When times are the darkest, I am shown how blessed I really am. You know exactly what is on my heart, and you show me the words that build me up. How great is my God who can work in my life without me knowing. A chance that I flip to this page first, and read these words? My God is healer, awesome in power.

Emily reminded me of this verse last night: Matthew 11:28. I am so thankful for her, and for my mom, who I can come to when I am broken down. I can't imagine life without them. They are my rocks and I love them so much. So incredibly much. And I don't say that very much. But I do.

I hope your weekends are filled with joy and love and company, and that you are thankful for every way God is working in your life.

And happy (last 30 minutes) of birthday to my brother-in-law, Aaron. So glad we could transform you into the cat lady we knew you could become.

Professor evaluations are therapeutic.

For my loyal, what, maybe 3 readers, you know of my struggles with my French class. But I know it's not the French I hate, but the professor's lack of preparation and teaching skills. So you know when I got that email to evaluate my instructors I took it and ran with it. Now I know you might think I am ruthless and coldhearted, but if you were taking this class, you would know why. So yes, I exercised my liberties, penned in my grievances, and gave her an evaluation she wouldn't forget. Ok, maybe she will. But I know I won't. And I liked it. And it eased my week just a tad.

In other news. To those of you waiting for a letter in response to some AWESOME letters I have gotten, know they are coming. Be patient young padawon(s). This week I ventured into the inner depths of Hell. But I have come back, and you will be receiving responses shortly!! I am terribly sorry I am such a lousy correspondent. But patience is a virtue, right?

I can't write. I have two papers due tomorrow for my honor's class, and I cannot write.

I have been stuck re-evaluating my interview with my Pine Cove representative. Critiquing every little thing I said. But what help is it? Nothing is in my hands now. No amount of anxiety or worry or stress is going help. One of my brightest, most honestly true friends, Kevin was in my same situation. We have both applied to PC, and both were getting stressed today when we knew calls have been made across the country to other students being offered jobs, but not to us. His friend gave him this piece of wisdom that I hope to carry in my heart for the rest of my life. Do not worship the plan of God, but the God in the plan. We both wanted so badly to have this position, because we thought it meant our identity in Christ. We were trying to find our image in whether PC hired us or not. But I (we) realize that Christ loves us no matter what we do or camp we work at or position we take. He loves ME for ME. I cannot place my identity in the world around me, but in the One who wants our affection the most. I focused (and am still completely guilty) on the plan God has set for me, rather than who this plan should be lived for. As long as I live my life for my Lord, what can bring me down? I have put my worries and doubts into the Lord, and asked him to fill me with what HE sees fit for my life.

After Kevin cast His worry away, he received a call from Pine Cove asking him to join their staff at Pine Cove Towers, a camp for elementary school children. My heart could not be happier for him. He is the epitome of what i strive to be. And he couldn't be a better fit. They are so lucky to have him.

Pray that I will continue to nurture these thoughts in my heart and mind. That no matter which way things go for me, that I will see the God in the plan. Even though I know Pine Cove would be so monumental in my life, pray that if I am not hired, even bigger things will happen for me. Other opportunities will be shown.

I'm hoping my little release will help my mental block. It's 9:30 and I have two sentences written. Pray for that, too...!