I can't write. I have two papers due tomorrow for my honor's class, and I cannot write.

I have been stuck re-evaluating my interview with my Pine Cove representative. Critiquing every little thing I said. But what help is it? Nothing is in my hands now. No amount of anxiety or worry or stress is going help. One of my brightest, most honestly true friends, Kevin was in my same situation. We have both applied to PC, and both were getting stressed today when we knew calls have been made across the country to other students being offered jobs, but not to us. His friend gave him this piece of wisdom that I hope to carry in my heart for the rest of my life. Do not worship the plan of God, but the God in the plan. We both wanted so badly to have this position, because we thought it meant our identity in Christ. We were trying to find our image in whether PC hired us or not. But I (we) realize that Christ loves us no matter what we do or camp we work at or position we take. He loves ME for ME. I cannot place my identity in the world around me, but in the One who wants our affection the most. I focused (and am still completely guilty) on the plan God has set for me, rather than who this plan should be lived for. As long as I live my life for my Lord, what can bring me down? I have put my worries and doubts into the Lord, and asked him to fill me with what HE sees fit for my life.

After Kevin cast His worry away, he received a call from Pine Cove asking him to join their staff at Pine Cove Towers, a camp for elementary school children. My heart could not be happier for him. He is the epitome of what i strive to be. And he couldn't be a better fit. They are so lucky to have him.

Pray that I will continue to nurture these thoughts in my heart and mind. That no matter which way things go for me, that I will see the God in the plan. Even though I know Pine Cove would be so monumental in my life, pray that if I am not hired, even bigger things will happen for me. Other opportunities will be shown.

I'm hoping my little release will help my mental block. It's 9:30 and I have two sentences written. Pray for that, too...!