Truths

I made this little sign to hang on my bulletin board. A great reminder for today.

Life is... Happening!

You guys! Life is crazy! And it's happening all around me. And I can hardly keep my head above water. But the thing is, I love it!

I've mentioned recently how I feel like I am finally finding my niche in College Station. This my friends, is the bonafide truth. Here's what I have been up to since last Monday (I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week!)

Most important, Shep turned one week old yesterday! Isn't it weird to think of a human being as a week old? Kind of blows my mind. He is adorable and I get to see him in two weeks! Cannot wait!

Thursday night I had reveal night for The Wells Project. I am placed on the event team which is exactly the team I wanted to be on. We are in charge of the 10 Days programming and concert. Phil Wickham might be coming back next year, but we are looking to maybe change it up. Maybe even a whole festival? So much opportunity and so many ways God can work! I have already met some great people and I cannot wait to get to know them better. Sunday we have a retreat where we find out our specific positions, so I am looking forward to that.

Friday night was the G.L.O.W. 5K in College Station. It was a chilly but fun night! We had a mini yell practice before the race started (such good Aggies!) which was just so fun. "Beat the hell outta poverty!" was the line for one of the yells. Love it. I ran and finished in the time that I wanted which was a great feeling. We ate Layne's for dinner which is a favorite!

Speaking of running, my second half marathon is this Sunday. I am running in the Armadillo Dash here in C-Stat, so thankfully it shouldn't be too hilly. Prayers that it isn't raining/sleeting/sub 40 degree temperatures at this race like my last! I am running for myself and to beat my current half time, so that's the only pressure. We will see if I am able to. Unfortunately I haven't been near as good with training as I was for the OKC race. Hopefully the adrenaline will get me pumped!

Saturday I went to my first Aggie baseball game. I must admit, baseball isn't my thing. I am ashamed to say I know little to nothing about it. Football is where it's at, amIrightttt? However, all the traditions at Aggie baseball games are hilarious so it was fun to go to! Not to mention the weather was absolutely beautiful! Ricky (to the right of Haydo) used to live in Japan so we like to pretend he's Asian and do "peace" signs in every picture.

Last night I got to go to an SFA Wyldlife club to visit. Wyldlife, in case you are new, is Young Life geared towards middle schoolers. It was incredible. I loved every second of it! The team was great, the kids were hilarious, and we could definitely see Lord working in these kids! Friday night is a lock-in at Gattitown from 11pm-6am. About 170 middle schoolers come to the lock-in so it's going to be crazy but so very fun! They do a club around midnight which is apparently a very hard thing to manage. 200 kids form 2 different schools all in the same room playing games and listening to the Message? I'm in! I am going to help out and get to hang out with the kids a little more. Who knows, maybe in a month I will be on the SFA team? I am also visiting a Capernaum club (special needs YL) on Thursday night which I cannot wait to go to. I have a feeling I am going to fall in love with Capernaum, too, which will make preferencing "my world" hard come interview time. It's all in God's hands-- I know I will be placed where I am supposed to be.

In case you don't follow me on Instagram, let's backtrack a little! I got my map in (Monday?) evening. I love it and have a few ideas to spruce it up.

Today there was a health professionals symposium on campus where all of the Texas medical schools came and talked/handed out info. In case you didn't know, I LOVE pamphlets. No really, I do. So I got all these different info packets that I am excited to go through. It makes med school seem so much more real. I feel like my whole life I have been preparing for medical school admissions. And now, in a short year, application will become a reality. Craziness! Prayers for the Potato who will be getting his MCAT scores back soon. His is becoming an even bigger reality! So proud and excited for him!

Lastly, (worst-ly?) I have been studying non-stop since I got back into College Station. My normal routine entails getting out of class, making a quick dinner, and then going somewhere to study until about 12:30 or so. Not to mention early morning study sessions and trying to be productive with the hour breaks I have on Tuesday afternoons  (voila!) and Wednesday. It will all be worth it, hopefully. Organic is really killing me right now which is teaching me a lot of patience and a lot of trust! 13 hours seems more time consuming than the 16 hours I took last semester, and last semester nearly killed me! Enough of my pity party, though.

If you think about it, my roommates for next year and I are still searching for 2 or 3 more girls to fill our house. We have people who are interested, but we really just need it to happen. I am a planner and an organizer and like things to be taken care of quickly. So please pray for patience for me, and for the right girls to come along!

So there's life. All the craziness and joy and fun.

Most Blessed

Shepherd Christopher Nix came into this world at 3:10 this afternoon.

He is the luckiest little guy with two of the best people I know for parents. Shep, I pray that your mom and dad lead you and teach you to love Christ. I pray that you would develop a fervent love for Jesus, and that everything you do you is for Him. I hope that you know how much you are loved by the people in this world! I know you will bless them and all of us more than we can ever comprehend!

I cannot wait to meet you, ya little Burritoad! Your Uncle Jill loves you and has some great things to teach you. I hope you become best friends with Toad and Livy, too. Be careful though, Toad might squish you!

Signing off tonight as the proudest Aunt (or as Aaron calls me.... Uncle) in the world. I love you E&A and cannot believe the little guy is here!

You Do You, pt. XI

I cannot tell you how excited I am for these next few months.

Young Life placement happens on March 29th and I am feeling more strongly than ever that the Lord is calling me to this ministry. I have been thinking about where I would want to lead, but the more and more I think about it, the more I have been praying that the Lord places me where I will have the most impact. I have been leaning towards Young Life Capernaum which is Young Life's ministry for kids with special needs as well as towards Wyldlife (middle schoolers). However, today in a leadership forum with 3 YL schools in the Brazos Valley made me reconsider Young Life again, too. I cannot wait until I am hopefully placed and get to become part of a team and love on some kids! I also cannot wait until I have my own team. I have seen from many of my friends here and in Norman how much your team becomes your family, and that is something I cannot wait for, either. Being surrounded by all these different leaders today gave me so much to look forward to. I literally cannot. wait.

Along with that I am about to be placed on a team with The Wells Project (please go read about it, it's an amazing organization!) where I will get to know and spend time with people who have incredible hearts for Jesus and for this mission.

The Lord has been revealing my place here at A&M over the past little bit and I am so thankful and astounded by His provision and grace. Many nights I have asked Him to reveal my purpose here at A&M and to surround me with a community that lifts me up and sets me in the right direction. My YL small group, future roommates, new teams I will be placed on, Pine Cove friends that will be made, and the people who have been with me from the start of school in August have all been huge blessings. So thank you, friends!

Just a Little Catch Up

A break from the series for a quick snippet of this week:

I found out last night that I am now officially a member of The Wells Project! I find out on Thursday what team I am going to be on and am so very excited about it.

The Forest Ranger is now officially swagged out with her new roof rack for my bike. I have been waiting on 4 little parts to be able to put it on and I finally got them in. Lookin' fly!

It's been raining non-stop in College Station for the past two weeks. As much as I love thunderstorms it's about time for some sunshine and dry bike rides.

Spring Break is less than a month away. Say whaaa?

My sister's official due date is 2 days away. Little guy S has yet to make an appearance but I am waiting on pins and needles for the moment I get a call!

Volunteering this week was great; I got to work in ultrasound and see lots of sonograms and meet some of the sweetest old men. However, it's furthering my desires to specialize in pediatric fill in the blank down the road.

I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Hayden in the past few days. Crazy schedules make it hard to be able to carve out time for each other so I am thankful that we have been able to.

Young Life placement is getting closer and closer! We are visiting clubs for the next 2 weeks so I cannot wait to go see a Capernaum and Wyldlife club.

So anyway, that's life this week!

You Do You, pt. X

Funny story I told my small group tonight. Last year I used to pray that the Lord would allow me to let people hug me. Isn't that strange? I am just one of those people who doesn't hug unless it's my mom or my dad or Hayden. I just don't really enjoy it. But sometime you just gotta hug it out. So I prayed for that. I forgot about it until tonight, but looking back it looks like I might have loosened up a little bit. Progress! I also prayed to have more emotion and to allow people into my life. The hugs fit in there nicely. When I was in middle school/high school I remember someone telling me that someone thought I was a rude person because I didn't talk much/seemed arrogant because I had a "mean face". Apparently I just continuously have a furrowed brow that makes me look harsh. Enough so that my mom asked me why I had dirt in between my eyes. No mom, that's not dirt, that's a wrinkle line. Anyway, that made me really sad. And has carried on with me for a long time. Anyone that knows me knows I just really am not talkative unless it's around my family. It makes me wonder how many people have a negative impression of me just because of my quietness/looks. I was never "the cool kid" and if I hung out with the people that were I was always the outcast. I don't think I was a "mean girl" (although I think everyone has some in them) but who knows what others think? I never was the person everyone liked or a class favorite. I really doubt many people saw me and thought I was a joyous person. I oftentimes wonder what a person from high school would describe me as. It makes me sad to think that they wouldn't all be positive. I didn't have any "enemies" in high school that I know of, but the fact that there might be someone out there who thinks less of me just really makes me sad. I wish I would have truly understood what loving like Christ meant at that age. And I wish I could go back and show everyone how deeply I cared for them, and cared to know them. If people knew I was in ministry now with Young Life, what would they think? I know I shouldn't be bogged down by insecurities and the past, but sometimes it's good to assess the past to better shape the future. Just some thoughts for the night.

You Do You, pt. IX

Today I challenged myself to find joy in every thing that came my way. Weird situations, unfortunately events, bad grades.... anything. Whatever it was that could possibly turn my smile into a frown I consciously made an effort to resist and remind myself that I should be joyful always. It was a lot harder than it sounds. I easily found my mind wandering to disappointment, which tells a lot about my attitude and my lack of trust in the Lord's plans. I hope that from now on I can make this effort to see the world through rose colored glasses. It make me enjoy this wonderful life so much more. And I just feel like a happier, more enjoyable person. What can be better?

Oh, by the way, Happy Valentine's day! I hope you told the people in your life how much love they fill your heart with. I am very thankful to my readers.

xoxo

You Do You, pt. VIII

Last week exhausted me. More than anything. And this weekend was a whirlwind, too. My parents went to Austin for the weekend, so Saturday I drove down to hang out with my mom and explore South Congress for a while. I slept about 5ish hours the night before, the same as the past 4 day prior, so driving there and back was a little hard. But I had so much fun and was so excited to see my parents for a little bit!

Today I did the first long run I have done in quite a while. It felt incredible. I wish it wouldn't have taken me this long to get back into the swing of things! My next half is in less than a month so I am working hard to get back to the level I need to be at. The only thing I care about is beating my last half marathon time-- I am only competing against myself!

Hayden gave me Angels in the Outfield for my birthday [in October] and we finally got to watch it Friday night! I forget how wonderful and hilarious that movie is. I can still quote most of the movie. I guess that is what happens when you watch either Cinderella or Angels in the Outfield every weekend for 10 years of your life! Speaking of Hayden, I cannot wait to show you the Valentine I made for him. It makes me smile.

An update about the house I mentioned in this post.... we got it! This is an amazing house and I will be living with some amazing girls. I am incredibly blessed!

I have had quite the obsession with vintage pull down school maps for a while. I have been trying to find one at a decently reasonable price, and today I found one! We have a great big entryway in our house next year, so I am thinking I already have the perfect place for it. I am glad I finally found this one because my obsession was getting a little out of hand. Here are a few of my favorite images:

Found [here], [here], and [here].

What have I been learning lately? To break out of habits and refresh! I am definitely a creature of habit, which is something that I really actually like. However, sometimes I just need a little time to regroup, re prioritize, and break tradition. Not in any drastic way, but in small, simple ways. Eating better, running more regularly, fun trips to Austin, and Saturday nights where I stay home by myself and watch movies. It's a great way to start a Monday!

You Do You, pt. VII

It's the middle of a week of terror for me. Three tests, a project, and countless other little "homeworks" have pretty much brought me to my knees. I struggle with the occupation I've chosen to pursue. I know I want to be a physician more than anything else, but it's the road getting there that kills me. I feel like any mess up, be it a test grade or a lost opportunity jeopardizes my chances of getting into medical school. Last semester I got an unexpected 4.0 (praise Jesus!) but the pressure I feel now to get another one is sometimes overwhelming. I will always strive for perfection, but never ever in this life will I meet that. ESPECIALLY if I am relying on myself.

Tonight before I got ready for bed I was reading my Jesus Calling and came across the line "I know your weakness, and I will meet you in that very place." Jesus knows I'm anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, and quiet frankly, way too caught up in my plan. I know that He will deliver me from these test anxieties and the anxieties I have when I get the test back. I have Him to rely on and the peace that His plan is underway- a perfectly timed, perfectly incredible plan. My Jesus is bigger than organic chemistry tests and MCATS and GPA's. I rest in that, and I rest in the fact that He is helping me to understand and live that.

You Do You, pt. VI

I had to take down my last post from yesterday. Apparently I was cramping the author's style aka I need better blogging etiquette. I didn't think it would be a problem but apparently it is. I hope you guys got a chance to read what I posted yesterday, though!

Today I got to go look at a house for next year with some of my new roommates for next fall! This house was wonderful. Wood floors, vaulted ceilings, flower beds (legit ones too!), a huge kitchen, and a wall-o'-windows full sunroom. That's right. For those of you who don't know, I am obsessed with sunrooms/windows/light in general. My current roommates probably think I am crazy because the first thing I do when I wake up is go open the blinds in the living room. I just love the way a room fills with natural light. Call me crazy. I would have to agree.

Here's our potential little house. Ignore the pile of dirt in the middle- we've got some major landscaping going on. One of my favorite parts? The crepe myrtle trees to the right. I'll keep you all updated on the progress of this lease-signing if we decide to go through with it!

I really love community. I really love surrounding myself with a group of people that pursue my same interests. It makes my heart so happy. I love the idea of living life with a bunch of girls and having accountability. That's one of my goals for now. To make that a reality. I have many acquaintances and friends, but very few of those know me deep down. Very few have broken down this wall I create and have gotten to know the true me. For some reason it's easier to let me show my emotions and true colors to my guy friends, such as Hayden and Calvin. Granted, they are two of my very best friends (and one my boyfriend, so duh) but I mean.... they are guys. I hate to break it to you Hayden, but no matter how much you learn in your Psychology of Women class, I still don't think you will ever understand how crazily complex a girl's mind is. Sometimes you just need some good ol' girl talk. I know the Lord is calling me to branch out right now-- to do things out of the norm and leave my comfort zone. This is the only way to build these relationships that I so desperately crave and know my soul needs. This started tonight with attending a Well's Project informational meeting. I got to meet some incredible people who have hearts just filled with the Holy Spirit and who WILL change this world. I cannot wait to submit my application and hopefully become part of this community. But this goal is to also to foster the relationships I already have. Digging deeper, growing closer, seeking the face of our Savior. I just really cannot wait to see what He has in store.

You Do You, pt. IV

Jesus likes to bless me with the wind in my hair, the sun beaming down on my face, the love of the people in my life warming my heart. I think that's all he is teaching me right now. I am free to laugh, free to love, free to live-- all because of Him.

You Do You, pt. III

I justify skipping yesterday's blog for two reasons:
A) I was exhausted last night.
B) It's leap year, which means there are 29 days in February, which means I can skip a day, right?

Tonight will be a quick post, but definitely something I am actively being taught right now.
Last night at Young Life mock clubs someone stated that "no matter what happens, no matter how awkward and terrible things are going, you must not show it. You must radiate with Christ's love at all times because you don't know who you could be impacting at that point." This is just so true. It is so easy to me to let little things get me down. I consider that a major flaw in my life. Any road bump thrown my way... consider me road kill. I especially learned this tonight. Something I was so excited for the possibility of happening ended up not happening in a way that really just frustrated me. It really just broke my spirit and I know it showed all over my face. Hayden could tell, my friends could tell, the guy sitting across the room could probably tell. It is so unbecoming of me and just such a bad, bad flaw. I can't continue to let these things get to me because it makes me feel like someone I am not. It makes me feel unhappy, unwelcoming, and a person no one would want to be around. I think Jesus is definitely teaching me things right now in my life. I know the reasons things are happening the way they are is just because whatever He has planned is so much better. And that is not a reason to be down. That is a reason to rejoice! So let my heart be joyful, let my face shine happiness, let my life beam with Christ's love and grace. He is all I need and the source of all happiness. Road blocks cannot come between me and my God, so why do I act like they can?

For my "picture" today I am sending you a link to look at. Please look at this and "like" the page if you do feel compelled. For my environmental design class we had to make a social innovation and enter it in this competition. This was an incredible opportunity because I have had the idea to start an organization for Moringa trees (I will make a post on this soon, I promise!) since hearing about them earlier this year. I am hoping that this project will be a springboard for this organization, and that sometime soon this might become a reality. Listen and Grow is definitely just a rough draft, and not necessarily the basic principles of what I hope to do on the A&M campus some day, but it was a great starting point! Keep looking for updates throughout the month to the page, we just got this started. Also, if you could share this with anyone who you think might be interested to vote, that would be wonderful. The more votes we have the better chance we have to win money to get a project launched!

S-Q-U-I-R-R-E-L that spells SQUIRREL!

My sister posted a link to these wonderful little cake toppers on my Facebook this morning. They are the probably the most adorable things I have ever seen. In case you didn't know, I am obsessed with squirrels. Really though, what other kind of animal is as funny as those little bouncing critters? I'll answer that for you. None. Isn't the little grey squirrels bow-tie just adorable? Ah. Love. I vow that one day these will be used. Pure happiness.

You Do You, pt. II

It's a little earlier today, aren't you proud?

An update on my week: it's been really hard to be motivated so far since school has started again. I don't know if it's because I am so burned out on last semester and how hard I worked, but I just have zero motivation to do anything. It's a problem, and a very uncharacteristic one for me at that. I need to get my head in the game! Tomorrow we have our Young Life mock clubs. For those of you unfamiliar with Young Life, every week a club is put on for high school/middle school kids where you play silly games, sing fun songs, and watch hilarious skits-- all ultimately geared towards grabbing the kids attention so that they will listen in when a leader gives a "talk" (sharing the gospel). For many of these kids, this might be the only time they hear about Jesus in a week, so we do everything we can to set them up with a wonderful experience. So anyway, as trainees in the Brazos Valley, you have to set up and "perform" a mock club in front of all your peers and current team leaders and others just so you get a real club experience before you are placed on a team and thrown into everything. I am so excited for our team's club tomorrow night. It's going to be so fun. I am nervous though. Everyone says that this is going to be the worst club you will ever experience. So we will see. Prayers around 7pm tomorrow would be much appreciated! Also, tomorrow I start my first day of volunteering at Scott and White Hospital! I am not sure what area I will be working in, but I am hoping for oncology, radiology, or family medicine. Tomorrow is orientation so I cannot wait to give you guys a run down. I am very excited about this.

I took this picture today while I was on campus. There are quite a few of these trees scattered around the campus and they have the most beautiful blooms. When the wind catches the blossoms they float around in the air like the iconic Forrest Gump feather scene. It makes my heart so happy.

Tonight in my small group my wonderful leader Lauren shared something with us that really spoke to my heart. Often times I get caught up in wanting to "go into" my mission field. Whether that be a mission trip to Africa or Asia, working at a camp all summer, or my Young Life kids, I am always itching to go somewhere and do something that I believe fulfills God's calling with my life. What I don't see is that I am placed where I am for a reason. My mission field is all around me. My mission field is within 10 feet of me. God has a divine plan to use each and every one of us, but oftentimes His plan is overlooked in search of the next big adventure or next big way to serve Him. We dismiss the incredible needs right in front of our eyes, seeing those opportunities as inadequate. This was such a statement to my heart this past summer. I felt so ashamed/upset/unimportant that I wasn't allowed the opportunity to serve at Pine Cove. I felt like a lesser Christian because I wasn't a trendy camp counselor who God wanted to use for His glorious work. I was ashamed that I worked in a pottery studio day in and day out, thinking that what I was doing somehow made me inferior and worthless. What I am realizing now is how God put me in that little shop for a reason. The interactions I had, the stories I heard from the little old ladies, the smiles I got from the kiddos when they came and picked up their finished pieces. I hope that I was a light for someone this summer. I know that the Lord's plan is right and wonderful. It definitely didn't follow the plan I had set out for myself, but I am so thankful that my life isn't in my hands. My mission field was right in the heart of little Tyler, Texas, helping four year olds paint their goofy bisque hippopotamuses. I just didn't open my eyes enough to see God's hand in my situation. So now I pray that my eyes are open. That while yearning for the days when I can venture overseas and work as a medical missionary, I keep my eyes focused on the life around me, the people and the opportunities the Lord has provided me with.

I leave you with a most philosophical quote:

"Have you ever pooped in the woods? I mean, really. It's the most freeing thing I have ever done."

-THE Lauren Dunagan, everyone. My small group rocks.

You Do You, pt. I

Apparently the only time I can sit down and relax for a moment long enough to write a post is late at night. Hopefully this habit will change within the next, oh, day or two. So anyway. I think this little daily goal will be harder than I thought, but hopefully it will allow me to see Christ's miracles in the mundane of my life. I think I really need that.

One thing that has really been dragging me down for the past year or so is how introverted I am. I've taken all types of personality tests which have labeled me as so, but I didn't need a test to tell me that. It has become a canyon dug so deep into me that it seems to have become a scar for me-- a defining factor. Now, there is nothing wrong with being introverted. I even enjoy it sometimes. But what becomes a problem is when it's all I can focus on. I cannot tell you the feelings I get when I walk into a room full of people I do not know. It's like I freeze up and retreat into this little invisible cocoon. So, this is something I have been praying about. Fervently. I can't let this insecurity impede potential relationships with new people, but more importantly, I can't let this stop me from showing Christ's love to those around me. If I meet a new person and hardly say a word, I could come off as stuffy or just rude. When people meet me I want them to see a light within me, an exuberance that cannot be contained. To have a happiness that just spreads. This is my hope and my goal. So what am I learning about myself? That I must force myself out of my comfort zone, because that's the only way I will grow.

No picture today, but hopefully I can start that up tomorrow. Until tomorrow!

Learning to Be Me

February 1st. Seems like a good day to start a little project. My goal for the next month (and hopefully I will extend it out from there) is to record my daily adventures of learning to become the person God has created me to be. I know the Lord has a radical plan for me in this life, but I still haven't let go and learned to be myself, which is creating a giant ol' roadblock on my way to anything and everything He has set up for me. So this is my goal. To learn through God's grace who He is calling me to be. All my quirks and awkwardness and issues-- they will all still be there, but I don't want them to define me. So here is to a month of discovering myself, awkwardness and all.

Be expecting my first real post at a more suitable hour on February 1st.... 45 minutes into the day is not really doing much for me!